Let's Try This Again.

So, I came across an old blog, this one that I last touched in 2010. I’ve had many starts and stops with keeping a blog. So, I’m no longer going to make the proclamation that this time I will be keeping it up. I will make a good effort though. So far 2012 has been the year of doing things right. I’m going to try to add keeping this up to that list.

Why start back? I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Maybe sitting down and writing things out will help me make better sense of it all. It’s been a busy year so far.  Things are finally going in the right direction career wise. I’m still not where I wanted to be by this point, but for the first time I really do feel like I’m getting close. I’m ready for it, my God I’m ready for it.

I’m also finally feeling comfortable living in Los Angeles. That fact alone scares the shit out of me. There was a lot I didn’t like about this city when I came here. I can’t decide if I just managed to find the positives and focus on them or if somehow the city has changed me and I just don’t realize it. Don’t get me wrong, I still think the traffic sucks, the Pacific Ocean is too cold, and Hollywood is a menagerie of people that still both amazes and disgusts me. The flip side to that is on a bright summer’s day you can look to your left and see a beautiful ocean and then look to your right and see an incredible view of mountains. When you are stuck in traffic, at least you are usually stuck under clear blue skies with palm trees lining the streets. Also, at the end of the day as an actor, I live in a giant playpen. I’m training with UCB (Upright Citizens Brigade) right now. The only other city I could do that in is NYC. The opportunities I have here are some of the best available. It’s been hard trying to take advantage of them, but I’ve learned to just be thankful they are here. So I may have finally been seduced by Los Angeles. I hope that doesn’t mean this east coaster has had his soul sucked out.

I also plan to delve into my personal life occasionally on here too. I’ve had a lot going on lately without anyone to really talk to about it. Maybe it will do me some good to put it to type. A few years into living here, I still miss my family. I feel guilty not being home more than once a year. I certainly couldn’t live back home, but it’s still hard being the one missing birthdays and holidays. I’m lucky to have parents who love me and completely support my going after a career as an actor. I just really hope soon I can give them something to show for all they’ve sacrificed and done for me. Of course there is also the trails of dating in Los Angeles. I feel like that could almost deserve a blog of it’s own, but there are plenty of blogs focused on that and by people who write about it much better than I could. I’ve had some really interesting experiences though. When one comes along that’s too weird, bad, or surprisingly good, it’ll probably end up getting an entry.

I’m actually going to close this one on that subject. Being single has never bothered me. I’m happiest in a relationship, but I’ve learned to just enjoy the periods when I’m not in one. Maybe you can chalk it up to being an only child, but I’m perfectly fine being on my own. The one area that fluctuates based on my relationship status though has always been my work. I do my best work as an actor and a writer when I’m dating someone. For a lot of people I know, having a relationship just becomes one more thing on the plate, a distraction from their work. Not for me. For some reason having that component of my life going, enhances my work. I think it comes down to acting being about discovery. If there is anything that can keep you on your toes and guessing, it’s a woman. The best relationships I’ve had have been with women who no matter how well we got to know each other, there was always a bit of mystery. After months of dating and in a few cases even practically living with each other, there would still be things that surprised me. That’s something I miss and hope to find again soon.
Like many things in my life, U2 put it best with their song “With or Without You”. Bono wrote it about the fact that he couldn’t have happiness without his music, but also couldn’t have it without his wife. He needed both in his life. That’s how I am. So I’ll keep wading through the very murky waters of dating in Los Angeles in hopes of finding a girl with whom we both get each other, but also never stop surprising each other.

So this blog is officially back. I won’t say when I’ll write in it again. When something interesting happens to me or I get hit with a bout of inspiration, I’m going to try to start writing it down. Thanks.